جمعه است. معمولا جمعه ها همه خوشحالن. اين هفته کلی کار کردم. صبح ها هر روز ورزش کردم. سه روز رو طبق برنامه دويدم. سه شنبه ، واليبال عالی بود. غذا خوب خوردم. هر روز صبحانه شيک ميوه ام رو درست کردم . نسترن از ونکور اومده که ديشب با اون بودم. امشب با بابام ميرم آمريکا و نياگارا و فردا شب بر می گرديم. يکشنبه قراره با نسترن برم کروز. کلی از کارای عقب مونده شرکتم رو کردم. خونمو تميز و مرتب کردم. تمام کرديت کارهامو پرداخت کردم. با دوستام معاشرت کردم. سام و طلايه برگشتن. تیم دويدن شرکتمون رو روبراه کردم و براشون تی شرت سفارش دادم. ولی نمی دونم چرا خوشحال نيستم. انگار يه چيزی کمه. نمی دونم چيه ولی انگار یه چيزی روی دلم سنگينی می کنه. ديشب نسترن می گفت چقدر سرد شدی. انگار دور خودم يک ديوار کشيدم و نمی خوام به کسايی که دوسشون دارم نشون بدم که برام مهمن. یه جور احساس ترس از ضربه خوردن از هر کسی که دوسش داری يا بهش وابسته هستی. هر کسی که ميخواد بهم نزديک بشه رو پس می زنم. از همه ايراد می گيرم. کلا آدم گهی شدم.
12 Comments:
At 11:00 PM, Anonymous said…
hi, fekr nemikardam khodet begi. fekr mikonam kheili az karhaye azar dahandehi ke mikoni va tuye vebloget minevisi baed az jodaea az hosein derakhshan star khorde. ehtemalan hn harf asabit mikone vali to ehsase shakast mikoni. chizi ke yek zan ro mitune be har kari vadar koneh. age mituni yek kam tu karhat ajdide nazar kon.chera bayad hame chiz ro ta marze ravabete jensi inja benevisi
At 6:07 PM, Anonymous said…
salam,be nazaram behtarin rah hamine ke uni ke dosesh darim nafame ke mohemme vasamon,hameye badbakhtya vaghty shoroo mishe ke bavaresh she doosesh darim
At 9:16 PM, Anonymous said…
شاید آدم گهی بوده ای و نمی دونستی
At 10:14 PM, Anonymous said…
oon jomleye akharet az hamneshini ba Hoder bood? Heyfe injoor nanevis dokhtar! kelaset balatar az in harfast!
At 12:03 AM, Anonymous said…
negaran nabashid. ehsasi ke darid (ba tavajoh be dorane sakhti ke gozarundid) kamelan tabiee ast. ejaze bedid in dore sugvari va gham ro hes konid ta betunid azash obur konid. be khodetun komamk konid va motmaen bashid ke lighatetun bishtar az unie ke fekr mikonid. age be khodetun komak konid (va khodetuno to gham vel nakonid)be zudi in dore ham tamum mishe va varede dore jadide khube zendegitun mishid. iavash iavash ham sai konid be ie marde jadid ashna beshid.
At 1:32 PM, Anonymous said…
Keep running, keep yourself busy and things will work out well finally, I like your weblog,
By the way, inore those stupid comments that might make you feel bad as well. !
At 3:32 PM, yoota said…
دخمل اگه فرصت کردی کتاب وانهاده سیمون دوبوار رو بخون. من تمام سعیم اینه که مثل شخصیت آن کتاب نشوم و ..
حست آشناست و دردناک ...
At 11:10 PM, Anonymous said…
I see that everyone is attributing your sense of "manque" to your loveless life. A friend of mine told me about your recent post so I felt like taking a look for myself and wanted to say what I told her, i.e., that under all circumstances, as human beings, most of us, feel like we're missing something. Some try to find that missing piece in marriage, others in having kids, another group in money and so on and so forth. However, what we're looking for is usually to be sought within us and that thing varies from person to person, but once we've found it, we exude energy and radiate in various ways... Some call it passion, others, love (a love greater than that for the opposite sex)-- one prime example that I can think of his Marie Curie's passion for science, not that everyone has to be a Nobel laureate, I hope you get my point. Obviously, it would be wonderful to find a soulmate, but how many people actually do? Many claim to, but I barely know of any who actually has. I liked one of the comments that said that this lady (i.e. "you") is simply writing a diary and ought not to be judged. I agree. I am not judging, but merely voicing my own opinion.
At 2:16 AM, Anonymous said…
Hi Luv, I know what you are missing after all the organizing etc last week: "Another trip to Niagra!" lol, kidding, To be honest I'm really not intersted in Niagara unless Hefner and his crew hold a wet T-shirt concert there with all the lowlives in here, yes sir admission is free of charge for da female members of your family to this fabulous party "no exclamation mark". I had no idea these kinda people know about internet! Strange enough the fact that they do not have pills for this yet makes me sad... not... G I couldn't give a Shaayte! anywho hope you've had a great weekend with your da' and for fcuk sake, ask Shadan to help you with blocking the cave people! They like hitting things with a rock first; well a few times for that matter, that's part of the learning process at least what they said on Discovery...trying to make em more interesting and all... I'm sure they edited the scratching out... I don't review your blog that often so if you have any Ohoy's for me again, kindly send me a Bouquet with a card, pink will do doll !
Always...
PS. I'm sure the decent people in here did not get offended as they were not my intended audience but if they did, who gives a shit!
At 4:36 PM, Anonymous said…
سلام مرجان خانومي
به نسترن بانو سلام برسون بگو به تو حسوديم شد كه ميبينش و ازش خبر داري
بهش بگو ما هم خيلي دوستش داريم
مهرداد از تهران
At 9:10 AM, Anonymous said…
ma mokhles e model gohit ham hastim.
At 9:45 AM, Anonymous said…
in ehsas kheilish be khatere ghorbate,hamuni ke hamemun enkar mikonim amma hast.
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